I did not even have a self-defense mentality. I merely acted out of panic and hope that my people friendly dog would actually protect me. I was lucky in this case.

I experienced a period of shock afterward, shaking uncontrollably. It left me angry and bitter towards men who choose to use their brawn to terrify and try to control women and intrude on their private refuge. I didn't realize at the time that a preplanned out strategy of self-dense could have given me the upper hand. It could have saved me years of being afraid to live alone again.

As it was, I was totally helpless mentally because I had not prepared myself for any self-defense situation coming my way. I did not see the possible assailant's face, causing me to look at every man for many weeks afterward as the potential perpetrator. The vicious sound of his voice demanding "LET ME IN" stayed in my head for several years. It was a long time before I started trusting men again.

There were actions I could have taken to possibly insure a positive outcome in this situation that I was not even aware of at the time. Instead, I did several things wrong:

1. Thinking anyone would ever want to break into my house and do me bodily damage had never entered my mind before this incident. I was really simple minded at that age to believe this, considering myself rather plain and tomboyish, and believing that only "beautiful" women were singled out for such an attack. The self-defense action here would have been to have a previous plan in place if this were ever to happen so I would be mentally prepared.

2. I didn't finish the call to 911. I didn't realize that to get through the door, the intruder would have also had to break through the screen, reach in and unlock the door, giving me plenty of time to make sure the police were on their way. The self-defense action here would have been to stay on the line with the operator until help arrived. Also, I should have known how secure my doors and windows were.

3. Although I trusted my German Shepherd to protect me, she was really not a protection dog and I should not have gone out the back door in case someone else was waiting out there. It was a bit of a run to the safety of the dog. The self-defense action here would have been to stay in the house and again stay on the phone until help arrived.

4. The only self-defense weapon in the house was a knife. It may have stopped him if he had gotten in, but chances are he would have over powered me, taken it away and possibly used it on me. A stun gun or pepper spray would have been a better self-defense weapon, causing an immediate debilitating effect on any intruder. Having some kind of non-lethal weapon or alarm system on hand or in place would have been the self-defense action that was missing. That action alone could have given me the confidence to know that if the intruder actually did get in my house, he would have regretted it.

I could have had a personal alarm system in place on the windows, a motion alert alarm or a door guard alarm set to scare off anyone touching the door knob. Any of these self-defenses could have saved me years of fear, given me confidence and security and might possibly have helped catch the perpetrator.

Today we have these means of protection. They are affordable and pepper sprays and stun guns are legal in most cities and states. However, be sure to check your local and state laws before buying. If a woman wants to live alone, she should and can feel safe and secure without the need to own a lethal gun. Some of the keys to self-defense are:

a. Plan ahead and even have back-up plans.

b. Have a non-lethal self-defense weapon easily accessible and know how to use it.

c. Have your dog in the house with you at night, and

d. Practice, practice, practice. Come up with possible scenarios and practice how to use your self-defense weapon until it becomes second nature. Know that IF a perpetrator WERE to invade your home and sanctuary while you are home alone, HE would regret it and wind up being the victim, not you.

Karleen Lindsey is a proponent for women's safety without the use of deadly weapons. To receive 20% off of your first purchase over $10, check out her products to protect women and particularly home safety, using coupon code 3254